Dear Abby: I have been with “Dylan” for three years, engaged for two. I have a lot of insecurities about it.
We met after my husband’s death. Dylan was the perfect guy at first. Looking back, I realize there were a lot of red flags.
He spends most of his time on Facebook. He acts like the world’s nicest guy around others, but when we’re alone, he calls me stupid and insecure. I never knew what a narcissist was before, but I believe he is one.
I built a business, which has done very well. I’m liked by everyone but him. People have told me to run. Last week, he broke my windshield because I asked him about his phone, which he is always using to text someone. Help me, please. – Unhappy in the Midwest
Dear Unhappy: I am concerned about you. Because you now feel that your verbally abusive fiance could become violent (Exhibit A: your broken windshield), place a call to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 and ask someone to help you craft an escape plan. Your next call should be to the police to file a report about that broken windshield. Your third should be to your family to find out if you and your kids can stay with one of your relatives.
It is important you get out of there, so do not disclose to this man any of the preparations you are making.
Dear Abby: My mother has never been the cleanest or most sanitary of housekeepers. Everything “looks” neat and straight, but look closer and you’ll realize her place is unsanitary and filthy.
I’m not a clean freak, and this is not my imagination. A friend of hers contacted me to tell me she was concerned about Mom because she doesn’t seem to notice how dirty her house is or that her food is spoiled. I’m embarrassed for her.
I’ve tried to talk to my mother about this many times in the past, but she just doesn’t get it. – Grossed-Out Daughter in Maryland
Dear Daughter: Tell your mother that you have been concerned for years about her living conditions, Clearly, she needs more help than you can give her.
I am concerned about the fact she doesn’t know the food in her refrigerator has spoiled, and for that reason, I’m suggesting you discuss this with a social worker in the town where your mother lives. She may need someone to check on her regularly.